Here’s how to flirt with a girl:
1. Approach Her
Trust me, I’ve been there countless times… Knowing how to approach a girl the most challenging part of meeting women.
You get stuck in your head and instead of psyching yourself up, you end up thinking of all the reasons why she wouldn’t want to talk to you. So before your mind can convince you otherwise, you just have to do it and walk up to her.
If you can control your approach anxiety, all you have to do make eye contact and smile a couple of times before walking up to her. If she reciprocates, she’s giving you an invitation to come say hello. If she doesn’t, go say hi to her anyway.
The only things you have to lose are a few words and some time and she’ll let you know if she’s not interested.
2. Compliment Her
Here’s the basic gist of giving compliments:
The main thing you have to do is pick one thing you like about her and simply tell her you like it.
But you have to be genuine about it. You have to mean it. This is easily accomplished by picking out your compliment before you approach her.
Some of my favorite examples:
- “This is a nice jacket, where’d you get it?” (A good one for initiating touch. Lightly touching her arm is your safest option.)
- “I saw you over there and just had to tell you that I like your style.” (Explaining you noticed her will make her feel good about herself and like you more.)
- “Your eyes are gorgeous!” (This works best if said with enthusiasm and excitement.)
If there’s one rule you should follow when complimenting a girl it’s this:
Do not use pickup lines (unless you have a hilarious one or can masterfully recover from her eye roll and keep her interested.) They’re corny and have a pretty low chance for success.
As long as you stick to normal compliments, smile, and make sure you mean what you’re saying (she’ll see right through disingenuous compliments), you’ll be just fine.
3. Make Her Laugh
One of the most enjoyable aspects of flirting is how casual it is (if done correctly). Flirting isn’t some sacred conversational formality. It’s fun.
And making a conversation fun and hilarious is easier than you might think. But of course, how you make a girl laugh depends on your personality and sense of humor. We can help you with that, but only you know what works for you.
So experiment with good and bad jokes, playfully tease her, and smile and laugh often.
And while we’re on the subject of teasing, here are a few good examples of playful teasing that are sure to make her giggle:
- Stereotype her in a silly way. (If she tells you something she likes, say, “Oh you’re one of those people.” and roll your eyes. Then immediately give her a cheeky smile.)
- Give her a silly nickname. (The more absurd the better. For example, if she’s wearing green, call her “green bean.” It’s fun to say out loud, not rude, and doesn’t point out any of her potential flaws.)
- Accuse her of hitting on you. (Example: “Hey, I know my butt looks good but my eyes are up here.”)
Remember: Teasing is playful, not hurtful so be careful not to say anything that could hurt her feelings.
And flirting is inherently silly so the more you make her laugh, the better your chances of getting her number.
4. Initiate A Light Touch
This step is one of the most important ones on this list because when someone we’re attracted to touches us, we get excited, which results in an increased heart rate.
But even if we’re not attracted to said person, a light tap on the arm or shoulder surprises us, which has the exact same effect on our physiology. Increased heart rate.
So in a flirting scenario, even if she’s not 100% sold on you yet, a light touch can quickly change that.
Below are some examples of what I mean:
- When passing through a doorway, put your hand on her lower back and guide her through ahead of you. (It’s a very sensitive part of the body and will arouse her because it’s so close to her butt. Just remember to aim high so you don’t get slapped.)
- Touching her arm between her shoulder and elbow is always a safe bet. (Pair it with something reasonable like a compliment or a comment on her tattoos or outfit.)
- Lightly push her if she teases you back. (Be aware of your surroundings and avoid pushing her into furniture or other people.)
Keep in mind social norms about personal space and if she recoils as you go in for a touch, you’ve made a mistake in your flirting process and might have to abort.
Gauge the situation and leave her alone if you think she’s not interested. Continuing to bother her is a huge turnoff and will only waste both of your time.
But if you think you can recover, move onto step 5.
5. Keep The Conversation Moving
When learning how to flirt with a girl, you need to know how to keep a conversation going with her.
There are countless different tactics to make sure you never run out of things to say but here are the key things you should always do:
- Ask her questions about herself. (It shows your interested in her. Do this often.)
- Share your own stories. (Don’t make her do all the talking!)
- Ask follow-up questions. (She says she went to Australia once? Ask her if she saw any sharks.)
Don’t forget: You should be doing steps 2-4 multiple times throughout the conversation. They’re not “one and done” actions.
Just be the most confident and best version of yourself you can be and you’ll do just fine. And remember to have fun!
If you’ve done everything correctly up to this point, she’s probably waiting for you to ask for her number.
And that’s exactly what you should do.
So as long as you’re feeling good about the interaction, you should have no problem thinking up a way to get her digits.
But just in case, here’s a reasonable formula for asking:
- Tell her you enjoyed the conversation but it’s time for you to part ways.
- Tell her you should do it again sometime.
- Ask for her number.
“Hey, so this has been fun and we should do it again some time, but it’s time for me to go… I just need your number before I leave.” Smile.
When you phrase it that way, you’re not asking. You’re telling, which shows assertiveness and confidence.
Or you can use humor:
“Hey, so this has been fun and we should do it again some time, but it’s time for me to go… I just need your phone and social security numbers, mother’s maiden name, and the name of your first pet before I leave.” Smile.
How you close depends on the type of person you are, but if you’ve made it this far, you’ve already got her hooked.
All you have to do is ask.
How To Flirt With A Girl Over Text
Flirting over text uses a few of the same principles as flirting in person.
But flirting with a girl over text is easier than flirting in real time because you have more time to think of clever things to say. Of course, if you’re too unlike yourself over text, she’ll notice the difference when you’re together.
We’ve done a whole write-up on how to flirt with a girl over text that has more information on this topic but we wanted to give you a pointer here on how to flirt with a girl and how to keep her engaged when you’re not together.
1. Send Her Flirty Texts
Flirty texts take creativity and quick thinking to come up with, so if you struggle with that, don’t worry…
…We’ve got you covered with a ton of our best flirty texts for her.
Here are a few of our favorite flirty texts:
- “You found me on the internet! Nice job, creeper :)” (I used this one last week after she added me on Facebook. We’re hanging out tomorrow. Don’t forget to tease!)
- “I wanted to wait a day longer to text you, but I couldn’t wait that long to talk to you again.” (I know, it’s kind of cheesy, but lots of women like cheesy. It’s charming.)
- “Send me a picture so I can send Santa my wish list.” (No matter what time of year it is, you can always justify using this one.)
Girls like texting when they’re bored. And while you shouldn’t bend over backwards for a girl, if you want to keep her interested…
You have to be entertaining.
More Tips On How To Flirt With A Girl
Getting the girl has never been easier if you follow our other awesome articles.